My Eclectic Music Taste

TV Land Is Now TV Bland

I used to love TV Land. I remember when the network first launched in 1996. I stayed home all day and watched all the cool old sitcoms, dramas, and variety shows that I had only heard about from my parents. When all the network shows were trying to be poorly-written rehashes of Friends, Seinfeld, and Melrose Place it was refreshing to see something well-written rather than just a bunch of catch phrases strung together into a 22 minute crapfest of a show.

Then, TV Land started to change things up about 3 or 4 years ago. They started weeding out the great sitcoms from the era known as the "Golden Age" of tv, and started airing shows from the 1990's and 2000's (commonly known as the "Worthless Bulls**t Age" of tv). They dubbed these sitcoms "Modern Classics." Now, even though I would lament the loss of great 60's sitcoms, I could tolerate real modern classics that you never see anymore (something like Cheers). Yet what TV Land airs are cheap shows that are easy to acquire the rights to; shows that can be seen in 2 hour blocks every afternoon on TBS, or on any local station between the local news and the prime time line-up. Do you consider Just Shoot Me (a show no one watched when it was airing every week on NBC, and was lucky to have limped through the few seasons that it limped through) a Modern Classic?

Well, the Modern Classics nonsense is bad, but at least TV Land had not stooped to airing reality shows.

All that changed a year and a half ago when TV Land, in an effort to draw in that 25-54 demographic (that's IQ points, not age), started airing crap like High School Reunion, and She's Got The Look. You know the plots of these shows, because they're like every the plots of every banal, worthless reality show: A bunch of self-centered 30 and 40-somethings put aised their families and responsibilities for a few weeks for their 15 minutes of fame.

It gets worse. This spring, TV Land rolled out a new reality show called The Cougar. The show, as far as I can tell, is about a horny, self-centered 40 year old woman who tries to catch as many venereal diseases as possible from equally horny, and self-centered 20 year old boys.

Oh, and I almost forgot the other great shows TV Land aired a few years ago:Mr. T's I Pity The Fool, where Mr. T. Travels around the country, you guessed it...Pitying fools! There was also the great show Family Foreman, starring George Foreman and his 750 sons...Also named George. I guess people just aren't buying those grills like they used to.

There was also another great show in which poor, frail Bea Arthur was forced to be a substitute teacher for a day (because...see...that was her job on Golden Girls, and they thought it would be wacky to take this poor elderly woman who looked like the Crypt Keeper, and put her doing the job her former tv character did). This could be a great idea if it was executed properly (like forcing William Shatner to fly the space shuttle, or having Bob Newhart give psychological advice)...but I digress.

Speaking of people who look like the Crypt Keeper, TV Land is now hawking an upcoming show called How'd You Get So Rich starring Joan Rivers. After all, who DOESN'T love Joan Rivers! From what I can understand, the show features Joan Rivers running around and talking to rich people about how they got so rich, and how absolutely fabulous it is to be rich! Now, I'm watching!

Joan Rivers Moments Before Her Most Recent Plastic Surgery

And they wonder why people are abandoning tv and turning to the internet for entertainment.

If He'd Ever Had My Vote, He Would Have Lost It Now

I agree, Mr. President. Being drunk DEFINITELY makes your healthcare plan more palatable.

Unless you're living under a rock, you've heard the saga of the black Harvard professor who was locked out of his house and allegedly got belligerent with police when they were called in to investigate...which led to the professor's arrest. Things escalated last week when the president commented on the situation, and invited the professor and arresting officer to the White House for a frosty beer and a pow-wow.

That'll be happening in about 6 hours from now, by the way.

Now, I'm no fan of the president. His politics and mine are like oil and water...or, more aptly, liberal and conservative. As a long-time beer fan, however, I was intrigued to hear that the president invited these guys for a beer rather than a glass of wine, or a latte. For all the faults that I think President Obama may have, I thought it was pretty cool that he was a guy that could kick back with a good beer.

So, a day or so ago, the White House Press Office released the drink menu for the "Beer Summit." Dr. Henry Gates, the arrestee (for lack of a better term), will probably be drinking Red Stripe (a Jamaican beer). I've tried Red Stripe before, and wasn't very impressed with it. Sgt. Crowley, the arresting officer, will be drinking Blue Moon. I've had Blue Moon too. The flavor has a hint of pine in it. It's what I've always imagined Pine-Sol might taste like. Translation: Blue Moon tastes like crap.

What beer will our president be drinking? He's a pretty sophisticated guy, right? With that in mind, I thought that maybe Barry O would choose something like Sam Adams, Killians, Fordham, or National Bohemian (brewed down the road from the White House in Baltimore). Nope. What kind of suds will the prez be swilling this evening? Bud Lite.

Bud Lite? Seriously?

Keep in mind, I'm no beer snob. I've had them all over the years, even a few Budweisers. However, when you can have a great tasting beer owned and brewed by an American company like Sam Adams, why drink something that tastes slightly worse that horse urine and is brewed by a Belgian company? That's right! Budweiser is no longer American-owned. It's owned by a bunch of smelly Europeans (more specifically, a company known as InBev)!

Even members of the president's own party are criticizing the choice. According to the Boston Globe, Congressman Richard Neal (D-MA), sent a letter to the president suggesting that Sam Adams be served.

So why did the president choose the less than impressive Bud Lite? Maybe because, despite the change of ownership, Bud is still the most popular beer in America; maybe the most popular worldwide. Drinking the "King Of Beers" could be a great way to appeal to all those folks who perceive Obama as an "elitist." Or maybe he's trying to appeal to the Christian Right. After all, even Jesus drinks Bud.

I'm On The TV!!! (Don't Blink, Or You'll Miss Me)

Now He's Shouting Slogans At Angels

They say celebs die in threes. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

In all honesty, I think I'll miss Billy Mays more than Kid Toucher and Nip Slip (MJ, and Farrah) combined.

PS. Is it time to rename this blog "The Blog Of Death"? This is the second death related post in a row.

Michael Jackson Dead

Rest in peace, Freak-A-Zoid

Hey...I can't be 100% serious!

Someone Thinks I'm Good At Stuff

Thanks to Chrissy, I've been nominated for the Kreativ Blogger Award. No, I didn't get hit over the head really, really hard. That's how the name of the award is actually spelled. As with any high office, responsibility comes with the honor of being selected. I have to put a Kreativ Blogger logo in my blog. I've done that. I have to tell everyone 7 things I love. You'll be able to find that below. I also have to nominate 7 other people for the award. The sad truth is, though , that most of the people I follow have already been nominated. So I'll nominate the ones I can right now, and hold an "application process" to see who gets the rest of the nominations. So, start your ass kissing now!

7 Things I Love

1. The Simpsons

2. My GPS navigator

3. My friends and family

4. Samuel Adams (the beer, not the dude...but the dude's pretty cool too)

5. Just about any movie with Denzel Washington

6. Peace and quiet

7. Anything written by either Dave Barry or Jack Handey

And The Nominees Are...

...and now I'm a grownup

Journey And Adventure

Five more nominations to go. Will YOUR blog be one of the next five nominees? Make checks payable to Judge Fudge. Email me to find out where to send the checks.